"I need feminism because… No, I don’t want to give you another blow job."
Firstly, if this was a loving/mutual relationship, you would want to please your partner. Likewise, your partner would want to please you, and there would most likely be an agreement in place between you both about boundaries and expectations, like most loving/mutual relationships normally have.
Which leads me to conclude that you are actively participating in the hook-up culture, where sexual experiences are often based on personal sexual satisfaction using the help of a willing partner. So don’t be surprised when either you or your temporary partner demands more than they give. Look at this realistically. If you are going to go to bed with someone to use them to fulfil your sexual desires, don’t be surprised when they also expect you to fulfil their own sexual desires too.
How will feminism, a political movement that promotes laws to give women equal rights, going to amend this problem?
- New legislation requiring that for every minute a partner receives a blowjob, the bestowing partner is entitled to equal blowjob privileges, and any breach of this is punishable by law?
- By promoting social constructs that convince men they have to be entirely selfless in bed so you can continue to use them for your own pleasure?
- Convincing women that all their partners, no matter how disposable, need to bend down to them on hand and foot?
None of these are appropriate, none of these promote equality, none of these will help the fact that you are making a conscious decision to consensually have sex with selfish people who you have no long-term investment in. If people want to consensually sleep around, that is entirely their prerogative, and the law should never meddle in such private situations. Just remember that if you put selfishness into your relationships, you are going to receive selfishness back. Don’t turn this into a political statement that implies all men are selfish in bed.
No self-respecting person actually thinks women should be submissive in bed. Don’t even try to use female submissiveness as a counter argument. A true partner is someone who is going to put your needs above their own, and hopefully you show the same courtesy in return. That is what making love is. That is what most people in loving/mutual relationships do. If you have a partner who is constantly expecting favours without ever feeling the need to please you in return, dump their ass. Do not wait for them to change, because when they are at their most vulnerable that is when their true colours show. If those true colours are tainted with selfishness, you need to leave them.
Feminism isn’t going to fix the problems you create when you consciously choose to have consensual sex and end up with a bad experience.
(P.S. I would like to add that none of the points I made are valid if translated into a situation that involved rape. Rape is inexcusable and I would never ever imply that she was responsible if the situation that took place was non-consensual. Judging by the cheeky grin, it seems like this woman is speaking up about men who expect more in bed…)